


Fading

by SubtextEquals



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:32:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubtextEquals/pseuds/SubtextEquals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The scent has faded from Sirius’s clothes but Remus clings to them all the same. Hints of future Remus/Tonks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fading

The scent had finally faded from Sirius’s clothes. It was just as well, Remus tried to reason. Sirius had been gone for some time now. Long enough that Remus had gotten used to lying alone again. After all, he’d spent so long in solitude. He returned to it almost as if he were returning to an old friend. But this friend he did not wish to see. This was one the friend he wanted to abandon and thought he had back in the days of his youth when he was living at Hogwarts. But there was always the fear that one day his friends would leave him. And they had. All at once. All together.

But then Sirius came back. He came back and they’d had a year of correspondence, a year of longing for each other from afar. And then they’d had one more year full of passion, anger, and sorrow, but above all full of love. They knew that at any moment their lives could be ripped apart again and they’d held nothing back. It was beautiful in its ferocity, numbing in its tenderness, and full of contradictions.

But now he was gone. And now that there was no hope of his return Remus wished he could join him. He didn’t want to live a life without his best friend and lover. He didn’t want to keep going. He knew he had to. He knew that was what Sirius would want, even if he might not agree with the specifics.

Because Remus was tired of continually rejecting Tonks. He was growing weary of her hopeful glances and the tears he saw in her eyes when she thought he wasn’t looking. He never wanted to hurt her. She was kind and held a fire in her eyes that reminded him in so many ways of her cousin and yet she wasn’t like him at all. And Remus could feel himself slowly giving in, in spite of everything. What was the point when it didn’t matter how hard he protested?

How would she react if she knew the main reason why Remus kept rejecting her?

He moved to pack Sirius’s clothes away again but instead he pressed them to his face. The scent was gone but Sirius wasn’t, not really.

“I’m not ready yet.” Remus whispered.


End file.
